.png){kind=logo}
The Circle of Control: A Practical Way to Ease Worry and Reduce Mental Load
- Matthew Hallam
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
Anxiety often rises when the mind tries to protect you from possible threats. It scans, predicts, and prepares. This protective system works hard, and when it becomes overloaded, it spreads its energy across everything at once. You end up trying to manage other people’s reactions, future possibilities, and situations that were never yours to control. That wide scan can leave you tired and tense.
Sorting your attention into what you can control, what you can influence, and what sits outside both gives your mind a smaller and steadier target. Many people who search for ways to reduce overthinking or feel more grounded find this approach helpful because it creates a clear structure for stress management.
It works by tightening your focus. You see where your energy is going, and whether it matches your actual power to change the situation. This shift supports emotional regulation and reduces the sense of carrying too much.
What you cannot control
Most people who feel overwhelmed are trying to change things that are not movable. These include other people’s reactions, choices, and moods. They include the weather, the past, and broader economic or social conditions. These areas matter, but effort does not shift them.
Seeing this brings relief because you stop investing energy where nothing changes.
What you can influence
This middle area is often misunderstood. People want to know how to communicate better, how to improve relationships, or how to reduce tension in social settings. Influence sits here, and it has two forms.
You can influence things indirectly. Your tone, facial expression, or energy can shape how others approach you. When you walk into a room in a calm state, people often respond to that steadiness without you saying a word. When you are stressed or irritable, others may keep their distance. You are not controlling them, but you are influencing the environment.
You can also influence things directly. Clear questions and actions help guide interactions. A simple example is asking someone, “Do you want me to listen or offer advice?” This small step shifts the entire direction of the conversation. It helps both people feel more understood. Direct influence works because it creates clarity.
Influence matters, but it never becomes full control. Naming this difference lowers pressure and keeps responsibility grounded.
What you can control
This is the centre. It includes your actions, boundaries, routines, and responses. You control how you prepare for situations and how you speak. You control where you place your attention and how you support your wellbeing through the day.
Focusing here brings the most relief because effort leads to movement. This is where change actually happens.
When anxiety rises, the mind tries to handle everything at once. With practice, you can guide it back to the small circle that shapes your day. You save energy. You feel steadier. You respond instead of react.
This approach helps with overthinking, emotional overwhelm, and the weight of trying to manage too much. It gives you a practical way to sort your mental load and put your energy where it counts.
Download a one page overview of the Circle of Control:
Structure, Support & Strategies - All in One Place
Living with anxiety often means carrying an invisible load, and we see these patterns as your brain working hard to keep you safe.
At Equal Psychology, our approach focuses on reframing anxiety and supporting the development of practical strategies that align with daily life.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog post is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice. The content is intended to support general wellbeing and personal growth, but it may not address specific individual needs. If you have mental health concerns or require personalised support, please consult a qualified healthcare provider. Equal Psychology, Equal Breathwork, Reflective Pathways and its authors are not liable for any actions taken based on this information.
Comments